6 Signs You're an Emotional Spender

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There are many reasons people spend money. Most people purchase things they need or items that bring pleasure. An emotional spender, on the other hand, is someone who buys to make themselves feel better. They use shopping and spending to self-medicate, often in response to stress or anxiety. Unfortunately, spending recklessly doesn’t solve the underlying problem.

What causes some people to use spending to manage stress and uncertainty? Many are unaware they have an addiction, what causes it, or how it impacts their finances and relationships. Awareness is half the battle since it helps an emotional spender get the help they need. Luckily, there are tell-tale signs that an individual has an issue with overspending. Recognizing these signs allows an emotional spender to get help before they encounter financial difficulties. Here are some signs to be aware of.

1. You avoid adding up your monthly bills until the end of the month

One characteristic of emotional spenders is they don’t like to look at their finances. Does this sound like you?

You avoid adding up your monthly bills until the end of the month.
You don’t want to see how much money you have left, so you tell yourself, “I’ll deal with it later.”
You don’t want to feel guilty about spending money on fun things, like going out with friends or buying new clothes.
You don’t want to deal with the reality that you’re barely making it financially.

Unfortunately, not looking at your finances doesn’t take away the problem of emotional spending, nor does it erase the debt you could incur. The problem doesn’t vanish when you ignore it. Instead, it becomes worse.

2. You’re late paying off your credit cards

Emotional spenders often use credit cards to spend without having to deal with the immediate consequences. It’s important to remember that overdue payments can affect your credit score. If you rely on credit cards as your main source of spending power, it could be disastrous. You may end up with penalties and fees when you don’t make payments on time. Emotional spending can put your financial future in peril even if you make a decent income.

3. You feel regret or guilt after shopping

Shopping is supposed to be fun but when you’re an emotional spender, you may experience a mix of emotions. You go in, try on a few things, and buy one or two items that you love — and feel a short-term lift in your mood. But then you get home and realize you’ve bought a bunch of clothes or household items you don’t need.

You know your shopping habits are out of control, and it makes you feel guilty. Even when shopping provides short-term fun, it’s not worth the guilt you feel later. Furthermore, the things you buy won’t make you happy longer-term.

Instead, think about what would make you truly secure and more contented, and focus on that instead of material goods. Keeping a daily journal may help you get in touch with your emotions and what’s driving you to spend.

4. You spend more than you can afford when you’re having fun with friends

Emotional spenders have another habit. They spend more than they can afford with friends. They spend to keep up with buddies or impress them. For example, an emotional spender might choose an upscale restaurant rather than the moderately priced restaurant they can afford. Or maybe a friend wants to go skiing this weekend and says they’ll pay for it — except they don’t have enough money in their account, so you help. Emotional spenders get caught up in the moment and don’t think about the consequences of their spending.

5. You shop when you’re angry or sad

Emotional spending is more than just buying a new pair of shoes when you’re feeling down. It’s the tendency to spend money in response to anger, stress, boredom, or loneliness.

It’s easy to reach for your credit card when you’re upset or stressed out. And research shows that emotional shoppers tend to be more impulsive than those who don’t shop for emotional reasons. But emotional spending doesn’t solve problems or improve things. Instead, it can lead to more stress and regret later.

You might embark on a shopping spree after a fight with your spouse or after a bad day at work. You may even feel it’s okay to go on a shopping spree if you’ve just been dumped by your boyfriend or girlfriend. But spending sprees don’t bring lasting satisfaction. Instead, they cause financial stress and anxiety. It’s better to deal with the problems directly that drive you to spend.

6. You return many of your purchases

If you’re an emotional spender, you may buy things to cheer yourself up and then return a lot of your purchases (because they didn’t end up making you feel better). Some emotional spenders have a hard time saying no to salespeople and are too quick to whip out their credit card.

Since buying doesn’t lead to long-lasting feelings of contentment and satisfaction and creates financial problems, it’s helpful to find ways to feel better that don’t require spending money. For example, take a long walk in nature rather than heading to a shopping center.

How do I stop emotional spending?

In addition to money management being a core issue to master, the process can also be tedious. To stop spending emotionally, you need financial planning and self-discipline. Mastering your finances won’t happen overnight, however, with persistence and a willingness to address the numbers, you will eventually get there. According to Grant Donnelly, an assistant professor of marketing at Ohio State University’s Fisher College of Business, failing to keep track of your finances will consequently lead to behaviors that contradict your financial goals and well-being. Among other things, you need to avoid impulse buying, and avoid going to places or out with friends that trigger emotional spending.

Conclusion

If you believe you’re an emotional spender, the first step is to be honest about how much money you spend on things that don’t bring value to your life — like clothes, eating out, and entertainment — compared to what you need to spend on (like rent or utilities). It starts with keeping a budget. If you find your emotions drive your spending, try talking with a therapist who can help you overcome emotional spending with techniques like CBT or mindfulness meditation.

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